Recovering Movement

In April 2023 I decided to close canihaveabite, a meal prep business that I began with a handful of pilates clients in 2012. It all started with cooking classes in my home, then moved to a catering kitchen, then a storefront that offered meal prep and counter service. When this simple concept began I had been taking pilates since 1996 and teaching since 2000. I have scoliosis and beginning a regular practice of pilates was the first time I was able eliminate my chronic back pain. The practice of pilates reminded me of studying dance. You need to be able to do the basics really well first. If you don’t know the footwork it will always show. And with pilates, once you understand the principles, every movement can be pushed up a notch.

By the time I realized I needed more space for my food business I had been teaching full time for 17 years. My tiny business had grown to the point of needing a commercial kitchen. That first month of working long hours on concrete made my feet feel like those bones had been crushed. It was a shock to feel the jarring impact this new environment had on my body. I continued teaching and working with a reduced number of clients until 2018 when it was clear there was not a way to continue doing both.

I continued my personal pilates practice, but it was becoming increasingly harder to reverse the impact of standing in place on concrete for long hours 7 days a week cooking. By 2019 I was getting monthly acupuncture treatments to help maintain my health. I had become so accustom to the imbalances in my body, that I was not noticing the detrimental daily impact.

So was it my bodies desperate cry for help that caused my back to seize up in pain the week after we closed? It began with chronic discomfort. Four weeks later, I couldn’t move without my back muscles spasming. I felt flattened. I tried to go through some basics for relief and realized that formerly easy beginner movements were impossible. I became determined to get my body back to being strong and flexible. I began with standing pilates movements, added muscle releasing stretches. As time passed, I was able to do basic mat exercises. During this initial rebuilding I also had a weekly acupuncture treatment that included vibrational needles in my back. By the time I doing basic mat exercises I began a monthly body deep tissue massage to help the angry muscles calm down.

I have always believed our bodies are resilient and can recover. But it takes daily discipline. As well as maintaining a positive mindset. Acknowledging small improvements was as important as practicing the exercises. My mantra when frustrated was “my spine is strong and flexible” and mentally note small improvements. And began each day saying, “today I am moving a little bit better thanI was yesterday”.

It was humbling to go from someone who thrived on challenging exercises to barely able to do complete modified exercises. But it was also eye opening to rediscover how challenging the most basic mat exercises could be.

Nearly a year later, I don’t think anyone would be able to detect how flattened I was. My scoliosis is not unnoticeable as it was pre-food business, but it is not that obvious to most people.

This journey of recovery made me think about how detrimental our daily jobs can be and what it takes to reverse the damage. And how we get so accustomed to the imbalances and overworked muscles that we dismiss them until one day a daily movement takes us down.

Let’s not live this way.

Taken on May 22, 2024. This is a Feetup Inversion Stool. It allows inversions without stress on wrists, neck or shoulders.